Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

CNN anchors break down on air sharing last message from late MTV VJ Ananda Lewis - Entertainment Weekly

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

The Return: Now We Know When Shōta Imanaga is Coming Back! - Bleacher Nation

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Every time I brush my hair when it’s dry it poofs up like a poof ball. But if I don’t brush it looks tangled and messy. I know I have some sort of curl or wavy hair, ive tried gels to define curls but it makes my hair frizzy and messy. What do I do?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Hurricane Sandy May Have Affected The Brains of Unborn Children - ScienceAlert

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I actually pay taxes

Wall Street sets Palantir stock price for next 12 months - Finbold

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

The Apartment Glut Is Ending and Demand Is Rising. Rents Are Headed Up, Too. - Barron's

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Free agent CB Rasul Douglas doesn’t think he’ll return to Green Bay - NBC Sports

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I want to touch my sister’s boobs. What do I say?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

In what ways does Bollywood represent India's culture to the rest of the world through movies, songs, and dance? Is this representation accurate?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I see through liars

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Gold overtakes euro as global reserve asset, ECB says - Financial Times

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count

Mauricio Pochettino on Absent Christian Pulisic: 'Players Cannot Dictate the Plan' - FOX Sports

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

“NASA’s Ambitious Venture Unveiled”: A Groundbreaking $488 Million Mission With a New Telescope Set to Revolutionize Space Data - Rude Baguette

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

How can we become the best humans? How can we trust each other?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What are some fun/kinky things to do with your partner?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Gut Microbiota Transplants May Cause Long-Term Imbalance - Neuroscience News

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work